Stop Buying into Bullshit

People want life to make too much sense.
I watch movies all the time and hate the fuck out of them because they’re too orderly.

They follow this strict plot line where on thing clearly leads to another in a compact amount of time and everybody’s cool with it.

I get it, kind of—it’s easier to sell a movie that makes life seem so much more reasonable than it actually is.

But it’s still fucking fiction. Like wtf.

No, the days I spent a depressed sack of shit in bed didn’t lead up to me building this unfounded, amazing resilience to endure the lasting struggles in life.

I was just a worthless member of society too tired to stand, to eat, to think, and too numb to cry. That’s it.

The handsome man I ignored in the street didn’t later become the love of my life who is both quirky and sexy enough to steal my heart and gallivant across the world with me until we perish in a freak free diving accident involving giant squids and lack of oxygen.

The shit that pours out of my mouth 99% of the time isn’t supposed to, and I highly doubt my words will serve to inspire masses of people to change for the better.

This shit don’t make sense.

I don’t want it to.


When it Hurts to Smile

You never used to make me laugh in a loud, gut-wrenching kind of way. Not that often, anyway.

It was just the way you made me constantly smile.

You would hold my whole fucking face in one of your big hands and tell me my cheeks must be tired from all that grinning.

You were right; they were. They always were. But I couldn’t stop because you wouldn’t let me. And that made me so happy.


Oh, i can’t stop my skin from falling,

I can’t help but let my eyes sink in

Darling, we were never so enthralling—

Let the darkness close on in


If you can see the battles won

In the eyes of the ones you’ve lost

then the road ahead for all of us

Is covered in tracks of dust


There’s no revolution in the arms of the dead

It’s the living that keep on living

Searching for things that may

Looking into the eyes of the livid

And thrashing as they fade away


There’s no hope for the restless

When rest is the only answer

But momma I have a fear of falling

So my weakness has sprouted faster


No glowing golden wings to stop my plight

God created god and we’re left to ask, why?


I have so many questions

But I’m so afraid to fear

So I close my eyes to blind myself

and hope the end is near


If people weren’t constantly changing,

then we would have all the time in the world.

But they are.


One day you might be you, and the next you might be someone else.

I live in fear

thinking that one day I might see you

and not see you.

That I might notice the shell of the person I used to know

but miss the connection we once shared.


So let’s not wait until we’re two different people,

and make this moment

that you’re you,

and I’m me,


What Am I Missing?

No, I’ve never been in love.


I’ve never experienced that blinding light

That poets always describe

When witnessing the smile of their beloved,

As if the sky cracked open every time their lips parted,

And unleashed the holy heavens upon this blessed love-struck individual.


I’ve never felt the rapidly increasing beat of my heart,

Crashing against the entrapment of my ribs,

Begging to be unleashed

For the sole reason of proving to my love

That yes, it beats only for him.


I’ve also never felt that burning under the skin,

That sickly sensation described as jealousy,

When witnessing my beloved

Slowly fall for the Aphrodite seated across from him,

Her words weaving a web of seduction too enticing to resist.


I’ve never been burning with anger over a love lost to another,

I’ve never cried for days over a love not reciprocated,

I’ve never had to fear the day my love leaves and never returns,

And I’ve never spent a day of my life,

Fully content to be with the person I love.


But, maybe love isn’t worth all of the trouble anyway.